The First Law of Life (as a Consultant's Wife)

Let's just acknowledge the First Law of Life as a Consultant's Wife. And that is if ANYTHING is going to go wrong at home base, it will happen the moment your husband's plane loses touch with the runway. You will find yourself alone. Alone with that clogged toilet. Alone with that freak radiation experiment sized cockroach in the shower. Alone with the kid who's eardrum chooses to burst the week that you also don't have a car to drive. ALONE.

If you can get in touch with your husband, he will be sympathetic, ask if everything is ok. then say he will call you after his luncheon at some very exclusive restaurant with the client.

click...dial tone...FUCK.

But do not despair. This is your moment. This is when true strength is discovered. It is time to spin around in your best Linda Carter imitation, and feel yourself transformed into a daughter of Isis (strapless one piece not required, mega toilet plunger helpful). When it's just you and the toilet, there is no point in crying. it's time to roll up the sleeves and dive in.