The First Law of Life (as a Consultant's Wife)

Let's just acknowledge the First Law of Life as a Consultant's Wife. And that is if ANYTHING is going to go wrong at home base, it will happen the moment your husband's plane loses touch with the runway. You will find yourself alone. Alone with that clogged toilet. Alone with that freak radiation experiment sized cockroach in the shower. Alone with the kid who's eardrum chooses to burst the week that you also don't have a car to drive. ALONE.

If you can get in touch with your husband, he will be sympathetic, ask if everything is ok. then say he will call you after his luncheon at some very exclusive restaurant with the client.

click...dial tone...FUCK.

But do not despair. This is your moment. This is when true strength is discovered. It is time to spin around in your best Linda Carter imitation, and feel yourself transformed into a daughter of Isis (strapless one piece not required, mega toilet plunger helpful). When it's just you and the toilet, there is no point in crying. it's time to roll up the sleeves and dive in.

the not so glamorous life of a consultants wife

this is the working title of my first book. It will include important chapters like:

* How to unclog a toilet.
* Killing giant spiders and wood cockroaches
* AND using a power drill.

Also you won't want to miss:

* Puke your guts out and still make dinner for the kids!
* What to do when your husband is stuck in NYC for the weekend due to a cancelled flight, and you get spend the weekend taking kids to various activities alone!

And the always helpful chapter on what to say when:

* someone says "wow, that must be hard" when they hear how much your husband travels.
* a 2 parent family asks you to carpool their kid to practice, because their schedule is "busy".

This book will be available soon! As soon as I find the time to write it.